What is love, why can’t we see it? why in real life does it so often fail? why is love not enough? How do you know love? Does love care?
Is it wrong to use the word ‘love’ so freely, maybe that freedom is what condemns love to fail. I’m not sure how to sum up love in a humanly way, I don’t expect to or even try. I don’t even know how to make sense of anything that surrounds love so I wont begin too. I do know however, the word love and the people who use it, can become lost and can cloud ‘love’ beyond recognition.
I watched a film tonight, Blue Valentine with Ryan Gosling and Michelle Williams. To sum it up, love doesn’t prevail, it isn’t enough and life isn’t always fair. Im not going to blog about the film to much, it’s a good show and you should watch it for yourself! Rather, I want to blog about ‘love’, because that’s the movie, it’s about how we perceive something we feel at a certain time in our lives.
The past is the past, for sure there is no way of changing it. We can learn from it and we can talk about it, life is full of things and moments and memories that create a sense of being. Now consider we have no emotions, robot like, computer like, empty inside. Does it change, does love really matter? Of course it does.
As I start to think about certain people in my life, different journeys and ideas I had…I realise love has a sense of humour. It has to laugh and cry at how mistaken or how obviously misplaced it finds itself. It must feel so let down in certain situations and laugh at how we throw it around so easily. How we switch from love to monotony….If it didn’t, love would have melted away long, long, long ago….as a third person, love will always prevail even if the people don’t.
When I look back at my life, maybe not now…further down the line I actually hope to look back and be angry at myself. Angry that the fairytale did not happen, let down by my expectations of the perfect ending. Then I will realise that love does exist, so brilliantly that we can’t control a thing about it. That’s why I think we never understand, because we are too conceded in our own mind that love owes ‘us’ something. Love has to step into to our lives when we want and comply with the guidelines we set. Love never disappears, it never will, we just don’t sit back and realise what we have when we have it.
“All my life, my heart has yearned for a thing I cannot name.”
Andre Breton